Even before the coronavirus required physical distancing, enterprising families were dispersing around the globe––typically making it harder for families to stay united. How does a family maintain strong ties and alignment when physically separated?
For the last half century, enterprising families have been dispersing geographically, which is challenging family unity. It is difficult for families to maintain unity without in-person connections. Yet, the trends of geographic mobility among enterprising families are here to stay. Families must find ways to build and maintain unity while physically distant.
There is a myriad of reasons for this geographic mobility.
Since the 1980’s, as globalization has increased the internationalization of family companies, we are seeing more members of enterprising families move abroad for family business purposes such as to open new operations for the family company or lead posts like a regional sales office, foreign manufacturing, or other operations. The challenge for families is to keep the distant branch of the family connected to and feeling a part of the original family, and to keep the distant operations well-coordinated with headquarters.
Another type of enterprising family has emerged in the last twenty years: high net worth families that leave their country of origin and shop the world for the safest neighborhoods and best education. Individuals in these families can reside in multiple jurisdictions. These families become less aligned with any particular country, and the jury is out on how their migration will impact their family unity. It could be that their common immigrant story could help to increase their alignment on purpose and values.
For the last half century, enterprising families have also been increasingly dispersing geographically due to individual exploration. The pattern over the last half century has largely looked like this: next generation members attend university, or travel for pleasure or work, to another part of their country or to another country.
They like this new place and different culture, and settle there. They marry a local, have children, enter a different line of work than the family business, and visit their original home periodically. The challenge is to maintain close family relationships with the big family, and to stay informed about the family enterprise.
Technology has recently opened wide the door on remote work and schooling, allowing employees to work from anywhere and students to attend classes on their laptops. Technology could make it less important where people reside to do certain work, and this might increase the number of family members who choose to live in distant countries.
Most recently, we have experienced a different kind of family physical distancing, forced by the coronavirus pandemic that has isolated us physically from one another. In this condition, even family members who are geographically close could feel as distant from one another as those living in different countries. Technology and social media have become the great equalizers in many families who report greater frequency of interaction with family members through technology than they achieved pre-Covid.
Covid-19 will end hopefully soon, but the trends described above will continue. Families will continue to become more physically separated from each other. The traditional notion of a family living in the same city for generations has become outdated. Families are on the move and this will likely continue.
What binds an enterprising family is a common purpose and shared values. Family unity is measured by members’ alignment on and commitment to their mission (or purpose) as a family, and their approaches (or values) to achieving their mission.
Alignment and commitment are easier to build when there are shared experiences, and felt trust, respect, and caring among the members. Unity is built through several factors (see Building Family Unity), most of which are nurtured through shared, in-person experiences. Think of celebrating birthdays and holidays, gathering for Sunday lunch at grandmother’s house, a weekly tennis match between siblings. These activities strengthen relationships, build family pride, provide a space for needed conversations, and build collective memories—all activities that help to unite a family and provide a sense of shared identity.
Maintaining close family relationships and a shared identity with one’s family of origin is more challenging when a family member is geographically separated. In the next generation, especially, family members can have little understanding of, identity with, and ability to contribute to the interests and priorities of the original family, including the family business. Outside of financial benefits and a proud history, their association with the original family can become a “nice to have” but not something that is pivotal to their life.
Unity is difficult for families to maintain without in-person connections. This is one reason that family unity tends to decline over generations. You’re more inclined to talk with people who you trust and get to alignment if you trust them, respect them, and like them. Building that trust, respect, and liking usually takes some lengthy periods where you spend time together, communicate and collaborate, support each other, and learn to quarrel and make up.
How, then, does an enterprising family maintain a shared experience while physically apart? At the most fundamental level, how do you keep a growing and geographically cleaved group of family members connected to one another and to the family business?
Consider these areas where family unity can weaken or deteriorate because family members are geographically distant:
While modern communication technologies often feel like an antidote to the challenges described above, research across the social sciences has repeatedly demonstrated how email and videoconferencing cannot replace in-person contact. For instance, meeting face-to-face, when compared to virtual replacements, has been shown to more effectively build empathy, enable difficult conversations, and prevent miscommunication. Research also shows that face-to-face requests were 34 times more likely to garner positive responses than emails.
In-person communication is simply more persuasive and effective. Meeting together physically improves creativity and strengthens friendship. These are helpful elements in building family unity. Families should make every effort to meet regularly and, when possible, in-person.
For the reasons described above, meeting face to face is not always feasible for families. But it is still possible to stay connected and maintain unity when physically distanced from one another. Below are 10 practical actions for enterprising families to try as they work to strengthen unity while physically apart. Some of these require meeting in-person; others can be effective online. Likewise, some can be followed without violating social distancing guidelines; others are suggested with a post-Covid-19 environment in mind.
In the end, a family enterprise can only be as strong as the family behind it. In the face of trends and currents driving families apart, both socially and geographically, families need to actively build a sense of connection and unified purpose. The suggestions above are a place to start, but bear in mind the pursuit of unity is, and always will be, a process. Like a fire, it needs steady stoking and care.
